Just got back from a wonderful time spent on a boat on the Norfolk Broads, with the family! It was really lovely. I am feeling better, fitter and stronger. And while the niggling fear of ‘what ifs’ and ‘will the cancer come back’ never completely leave me, I really felt really chilled, relaxed and able to keep things in perspective – if it comes back, it comes back, no amount of worrying/ thinking about it will make that any different and if that were to happen, wouldn’t it be a shame if I had spent all my time worrying instead of grabbing life with both hands and having the best time possible? As we drifted along the water, with the sound of the calm lapping water and the sun glinting off the gentle ripples two things occurred to me…. One, I love my life and my family; life is too short to spend it worrying about the ‘what might be’ and two, instead of beating myself up with the ‘Why me?’ I should turn it around & think – ‘Why not me?’ Awful things happen to people all the time – there is no reason why I should be any different! The hospital got back to me after looking back & my previous smears (3 and 6 years prior to diagnosis and they found nothing) so I did everything I should, went for every smear when I should, there was nothing I could, or indeed should, have done differently – just bloody unlucky that it developed so high up and didn’t get detected- bloody unlucky but time to move on! It’s nearly a year on from the end of treatment – this time last year I was just at the end of chemo and external radiotherapy and I was preparing to go into hospital for brachytherapy – what a difference a year makes! This year I have taken up learning to play the piano/keyboard, (something I have always wanted to do but never got round to!) I can honestly say I am finding it VERY challenging (as I thought I would – not a musical bone in my body!!) I’m making slow progress but ABSOLUTELY LOVING every minute (just don’t get to practise as much as I would like to, with four kids, a job, a house and general family stuff keeping me busy!). I have been to Centre Parcs on a Monaco girls reunion (remember I snuck off to Monaco for a friend’s birthday for a girly few days a few weeks after treatment?) and had a fantastic time walking, biking, swimming, giggling in the rapids, playing badminton, eating, drinking & chatting in front of the fire with some lovely ladies whom I class as very good friends! I have signed up to do a Coast 2 Coast mountain bike ride with Purple Mountain for Marie Curie again, so spent Easter in North Yorkshire training hard (in between nice meals & taking the kids swimming!) I’ve spent a wonderful few days on the Norfolk Broads sailing, rowing and being with the family! We are back in the house, even though it is still ongoing extension works, I am still enjoying the new kitchen/space and am thankful every day that I am here to enjoy our lovely home. Abbie has turned 11 and had a lovely roller disco birthday party and then spent her actual birthday at The Big Gig with the Guides (my little girl is growing up!) So all in all I have SO much to be thankful for and I intend to enjoy every minute (well maybe not every minute – must clean the toilet/ bathroom later!!)
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