so I've had cancer....get over it....that's so yesterday!!!!!

20th August 2013

Well I guess you’ve heard that saying ‘today is the first day of the rest of my life’? Well that’s kind of how I’m feeling at the moment. I have decided that it is time to make a conscious decision to get over this whole cancer thing! I’m done with feeling that it’s so unfair, I’m done with the whole ‘why me?’ I’m done with feeling that I’ve been dealt such a shit hand & I’m done with worrying about the long term effects the treatment has left me with (still can’t help a small part of me worrying about it coming back, but I really can’t stop that!!). Time to move on, shit happens, & when I think about it some people have a lot worse shit to deal with, I should count myself lucky, it may be crap, but not as crap as it could be. I know that because it directly affects my life it will always be there, but today is a new day, what is done is done! I need to cut my losses & GET OVER IT!! No excuses! Time to get back in the game! It’s definitely time to get back out on my bike & back to running – it’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna hurt but I can do it! I will do it! (might just have another cuppa & a biscuit first!!) Seriously though, time to lose a bit of this ‘treatment weight’ being on steroids (during treatment, not now), not doing much activity & comfort eating have all caught up with me & taken their toll – it’s time I got back in control. I need to concentrate on all the positive things in my life, it’s very easy to get hooked up on the negative. And I have got a lot to be thankful for & a lot of positive things going on. I have had a brilliant summer; it started with the most fantastic girly holiday in Monaco for a friend’s 40th birthday. It was an absolutely brilliant time with a fab bunch of girls. We met Bono (from U2) in The Hotel de Paris & we also had a wonderful meal in La Grill restaurant there - we definitely made loads of wonderful memories to treasure! After that, I took the kids to North Yorkshire & we had a fab time with Rob’s parents – I even managed to sneak back on the train to spend a few days with Rob before getting the train back to pick the girls up. I took the girls to Devon for 10 days at the same time as my sister took her four children & we had a brilliant time at my parent’s house. The time was filled with chaos, fun, sunshine, laughter, beaches, stream play, bikes, village play & noise (lots of noise!!) We are in the process of doing an extension on our house & while that is causing difficulty & stress it will all be worth it in the end! Can’t wait to move back in, the novelty has definitely worn off the ‘not really suitable for kids’ flat in town that we are renting. Rob & I have got a little sneaky holiday booked to Zante for a week, just the two of us, at the start of term when the girls go back to school (Rob’s parents are kindly coming down to look after the girls for the week) & while I’m not sure I actually want to refer to it as a ‘cancer perk’ it is definitely not something that we would have considered doing had we not just had the year we have!! So this is it, a new start, if you catch me doing the whole ‘woe is me, I’ve had cancer to deal with y’know!’ you have my permission to slap me (not too hard of course, I’m still recuperating!! Ha ha!) xx